How to get through and survive the holidays

I understand that all of us come from different walks of life and we’re not all close to our families. There are folks who can’t bear to be in the same room as their parents or siblings, or other family members because they are straight up toxic.

I can sympathize.

While I love my family, sometimes my anxiety gets in the way of me enjoying the holidays because of all of the parties and the obligations to attend them. 

Here are some ways I survive and you can too:

Say no:

If you don’t want to go to a holiday party and pretend you’re happy plus have a permanent fake smile on your face all night -- stick up for yourself and say no. You reserve the right to put yourself first and do whatever you want with YOUR time. 

Have strong boundaries:

If there is no option but to attend a gathering, give yourself a pep talk and create some strong boundaries. Have an annoying relative who always gets up in your face and in your personal business? Just smile and don’t react. Count to ten and you can use phrases like “I don’t feel comfortable talking with you right now” “I don’t think that is any of your business”. Whatever makes you feel in control, JUST SAY IT. 

If you don’t have any family:

I don’t know what your story is but I do know you’re going to be okay. If you are estranged from family or don’t have any….you get to choose how you spend the holidays. Go on a staycation if you can afford it. Watch fun movies. Take yourself out to dinner. Join local groups with folks in the same situation as you, for some solidarity and support. Read. Finish a course you’re putting off. Make a vision board for 2020. Basically, you get to reframe your mindset about the holidays.

Stay away from self-destructive patterns:

Don’t indulge in shit that makes you feel bad after you do it. This includes over-drinking, binge eating. Drunk dialling your ex. You know what NOT to do… so don’t do it. It creates more feelings of isolation and rejection. 

These are some of the things I do. If anyone else has something to add, please do so in the comments so it helps someone in need.

Happy holidays everyone. If you need me or are feeling lonely, I am an email away: 


Jas xo


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